Review of The Empty Chair by Vikram Kolmannskog, exploring themes of loss, longing, and the search for meaning through a blend of narrative and existential reflections.
This book review starts with an overview of its main concepts, themes, and the brief summaries of each client who Vikram counsels. The following section expands on the theoretical approach, Gestalt therapy. Vikram’s entire perspective embraces Gestalt therapy as a way of life. The next section focuses on the various techniques, how Vikram applies them, and their benefits. Here many examples from each of his clients are categorized into two sub themes including experiments (meditation, guided imagery and fantasy, language, spontaneous experiments, and chair work) and dialogue (including self-disclosure and feedback). Next, the discussion and limitations section highlight Vikram’s personal challenges and relatable issues in Gestalt therapy. Finally, the conclusion reviews the take-away points made in this book review.
The book The Empty Chair Tales from Gestalt Therapy by Vikram Kolmannskog is about the journey of a Gestalt therapist having many dialogues with multiple clients. There are a total of nine clients, who Vikram based off real people with different overlapping struggles. The introduction discusses important aspects of Gestalt therapy that become themes throughout the book. He emphasizes the history and founding of Gestalt therapy; having an I-Thou relationship in the here and now; unfinished business; paradoxical changes; being in contact with the environment, surrounding relationships, culture, and politics; polarities; and experiments. Furthermore, he shares his experiences from the first-person perspective, which allows the reader to follow his personal struggles and need to search for self-support, self-acceptance, and supervision.
Each of the following chapters focuses on one client, except for one chapter that focuses on group therapy. Vikram describes the client’s presenting problems and shares important aspects of their dialogue that does or does not lead to change in both the client and Vikram. Each chapter ends with highlights and expands on specific concepts and challenges that the client and Vikram embraced separating and/or together.
In the second chapter, Carl is the client who sought out counseling to find tips and techniques to cope with his stressful lifestyle. His lifestyle has him at risk for burnout as he is trying to succeed at everything. Carl ended up only having one session with Vikram but emailed him a few weeks later sharing that he found a therapist more suitable to his wants and needs.
The third chapter is about a client named Anna. She claims that the last three generations of women (including herself) in her family are cursed because each woman has been cheated on. She uses a lot of language revolving around ones, musts, and shoulds. Anna tends to try to control her relationships. Simultaneously, she is sad, but does not allow herself to feel this side.
The fourth chapter is the longest, likely because it deals with more complicated and delicate themes with Marianne. She is a victim of abuse that occurred within her family during her childhood. Her former therapists did not believe her that she raped, which influenced the development of shame and internalised oppression.
Johnny is the main client elaborated on in the fifth chapter. Vikram offered Johnny free therapy in a semi-open prison. Johnny has one year left before the end of his sentence. He spent a lot of time alone with his thoughts and used meditation to disappear mentally from his environment. This survival technique aided in creating a metaphorical wall that presented him as cold, even though on the inside he had a warm character.
The sixth chapter is about Eric, who is gay, suffered from bullying as a child, and has a negative self-image and perception. He has become a bully towards himself. Eric latched onto a technique led by Vikram and decided to quit therapy. A half a year later, Eric emailed Vikram relaying his improved health and wellness.
In the seventh chapter, Nina has previous experience with Gestalt therapy. She struggles with three parts of herself: the hated self, the angry self, and the coward self. These selves seem to stem from frustrations of past traumas of being sexually abused from a family member and current problems including physical abuse in a romantic relationship and cancer in her mother and herself. She ends up getting pregnant from the physically abusive ex-boyfriend. Shortly after, she stopped going to therapy and ended up becoming a mother.
The eight chapter is the only one that involves group therapy and multiple clients. A few clients identify as transgendered and another as gender neutral. They discuss common issues amongst their community, for example, what bathroom to use or struggles in their families during transition. They end up creating friendships and continuing contact after therapy.
Finally, in the last chapter, the focus is on a client named Ask, as well as a major life transition for Vikram. Ask is openly gay and has had a difficult time holding a relationship. His last relationship that ended was followed by his ex-partner committing suicide. From this her struggles with guilt and shame. Ask also struggles expressing himself, as he usually holds back. Vikram finds a lot of similarities between Ask and his relationships and has parallel changes happening. Furthermore, they had to figure out how to address their attraction for one another.
The book ends with Vikram having to close his therapeutic relationships because he moved across Norway to pursue his relationship with his partner. Before reopening his private practice in the new city, he takes time to adapt to his new environment.
Gestalt therapy has a humanistic and experiential approach (Yontef & Jacobs, 2019). A central concept is defined as holism, which asserts that humans are self-regulating, growth oriented, and are understood in relation to their personal experiences with their encountering environment. Because there are various parts to any experience or situation, a person perceives and focuses on specific figures (thoughts, people, feelings, memories, objects etc.). To fully understand the phenomenon of experience, all figures are perceived in relation to one another and seen as whole. This meaningful wholeness is the most appropriate definition of the German concept Gestalt (Kolmannskog, 2018, pp. 6-7). It is through awareness in the here and now that allows humans to understand any of the figures as part of a whole.
Awareness requires being conscious of the entire human experience through our senses in relation with another (Yontef & Jacobs, 2018). This awareness process is followed up by a second order of awareness, which refers to a person’s interpretation of their awareness. Someone is either aware or unaware. It is the individual’s responsibility to knowing and owning their bodily sensations, emotions, observations, beliefs, wants, and needs. Fritz Perls, the cofounder of Gestalt therapy, defined responsibility as an individual’s ability to respond (Kolmannskog, 2018, p. 9). Therefore, change can only occur when one focuses on what they are in the present, rather than who they will/should/must become in the future. This concept is referred to as the paradoxical theory of change. The more one tries or forces to become something, the more one stays the same (Yontef & Jacobs, 2018, p. 311).
Throughout life, people encounter powerful experiences that can dominate the present relationships and situations (Kolmannskog, 2018, pp. 8-9). These dominating experiences that trigger regular thoughts, feelings, and behaviour can be referred to as a fixation or fixed gestalt.
Being aware also requires individuals being in contact with their surroundings. One is always in contact with someone or something (Kolmannskog, 2018, pp. 9-11). There can be boundary disturbances between the contact that fosters the focus on certain figures rather than seeing the whole. Boundary disturbances can occur through different contact styles, but these styles can also be used for healthy use. Vikram refers to five specific styles including introjection (accepting advice, norms, and messages from others with little conscious effort), projection (putting our perceptions onto others), retroflection (turning against or holding oneself back), deflection (to not accept or turn aside), and confluence (flowing together).
Often, contact styles occur simultaneously and can affect each other (Kolmannskog, 2018, pp. 11-12). These styles can create polarities that are connected and complement one another. These polarities can be effective in adaptive ways, but it can be fixed overtime. This fixation leads to less awareness of what side is at work, creating blind spots or shadow sides in awareness.
The main goal of a therapist is to help the client(s) bring themselves to awareness (Yontef & Jacobs, 2018, p. 327). Therapists have an active role in engagement with the client and aim to maintain a balance in power. The relationship between the therapist and client is vital to bring awareness through dialogue. To participate in dialogue that allows for each party (including the self) to be seen as whole, the Gestalt therapist perceives the relationship with an I-Thou in the here and now. There is an emphasis on what and how a client is doing something (Yontef & Jacobs, 2019). Throughout the dialogue, the therapist participates and suggests experiments to explore certain factors of awareness together. These experiments are created from and in the awareness. They do not remain a constant exercise.
Dialogue encompasses respect for diversity, feelings of safety and belongingness (Spagnuolo Lobb, 2020). It is both a part of the method and the goal of Gestalt therapy (Kolmannskog, 2018, p. 63). During dialogue the therapist practices inclusion, empathetic engagement, and personal expression (Yontef & Jacobs, 2019, p. 330). The therapist is to be truthful and authentic. This includes sometimes acknowledging hurt feelings, being arrogant, and being mistaken. Vikram mentions that dialogue is like a dance between the therapist and the client, working in collaboration and growing with one another. This dance of reciprocity involves relational recognition of boundaries and expressing them to one another (Spagnuolo Lobb, 2020). It is this process that can become the healing factor.
Self-Disclosure
Unlike other therapy approaches, Gestalt therapists are encouraged to self-disclose during appropriate therapeutic moments. Vikram models this numerous times including: coming out as gay; being a victim of rape; feeling tired; having troubles with his partner; being mistaken and apologizing; setting boundaries; and sharing uncertainties and feelings of shame.
Feedback
In the dance of reciprocity, Vikram continually asks for feedback before, during, and after an experiment. The best example from the book is with Marianne. Their dialogue about ending a session before she felt safe, doubts about her story, shame in their responses, and the ability for her to protest safely was inspiring (Kolmannskog, 2018, Chapter 4).
Experiments are simply defined as exploring awareness together without knowing or aiming for specific results (Kolmannskog, 2018, pp. 13-14). Therapists pursue experiments in the here and now. Many experiments can be situationally created. The therapist gauges the appropriateness of the suggests or attempts by asking how the clients perceive the idea, the overall experience of the experiment, and their relationship with the therapist. The following subthemes highlight examples of various experiments used throughout the book.
Meditation
One form of meditation used was Metta, or loving-kindness. Vikram suggested for Eric to try this experiment to counterbalance the negative self-talk (Kolmannskog, 2018, Chapter 6). This form of meditation focuses on increasing compassion for yourself, someone cared for, a stranger, and for someone disliked. Eric enjoyed it so much that he asked to do it again the next session. To honour the client’s wish, he filmed it so he could continue on his own. Eric did not come back, but later claimed to have healed in many ways.
Guided Imagery and Fantasy
There are multiple examples throughout the book, when a client expresses figurative language or shares a dream and then Vikram guides their images and fantasies. For example, Ask mentioned feeling like there were multiple doors in front of him and he had to pick one to decide whether to end his relationship or not (pp. 136-138). Vikram guided him through this fantasy, and they were able to work through feelings of loss and sorrow.
Language
Vikram encourages many clients to use I-statements, especially if they commonly use words like must, should, and one. This is to increase their responsibility for self-growth. For example, during the group therapy sessions, Vikram asks Annette to replace “should feel” with “want” or “can” (Kolmannskog, 2018, p. 120). After Annette does it, she felt “want” was a true fit with her expression, but the word “can” did not. She became aware of her wants.
Spontaneous Experiments
Many experiments are made in the here and now based on situational and personal needs of the client. For example, Marianne was struggling with unfinished business revolving around childhood rape. She came in a couple of times and kept going in circles with her thoughts. So, Vikram decided to do a lifeline technique (Kolmannskog, 2018, pp. 51-54). Unfortunately, time ran out and they closed the session before she was ready.
Chair Work
Chair work in general has been supported by several studies for its effectiveness, however, this technique is not only used by Gestalt therapists (Kolmannskog, 2018, p. 14). The main type of chair work includes the two-chair technique and the empty chair technique. The former is most effective with patients who are experiencing conflict between their experiencing self and their internal critic (Wagner-Moore, 2004, p. 184). There have been studies that supported its effectiveness in the client’s awareness and greater symptom reduction. Vikram uses this technique with clients that had a top dog and underdog polarity. For example, Johnny has a predominant cold side (the top dog) and a warm side (the underdog) (Kolmannskog, 2018, p. 75-76). With the two-chair technique, Johnny became more aware of his warm side and reminisced how he used to be warmer. In another example, the two-chair technique turned into three chairs. This was when Nina felt the need to express three versions of herself (pp. 97-98).
The empty chair technique is typically used when a client imagines a significant person in the other chair (Kolmannskog, 2018, p. 14). The client can alternate between the perspectives and increase empathy. This technique was exemplified a few times, even with Vikram and his therapist. During his major life change and having Ask as a client, Vikram became confused with his infatuation with his partner. The empty chair technique helped Vikram gain empathy by remembering his partner’s underdog and Vikram’s top dog polarity. This also brought clarity of what Vikram wants to be more aware of going further with his partner.
Vikram often relays the challenges of doubting whether he is a good therapist. One reassurance from this was that, even though Carl, Eric, and Nina all left therapy, they all willingly informed Vikram of their states. Still, in the case of Carl, one limitation of Gestalt therapy is that it cannot provide a sense of security with a plan. Because Gestalt therapy is harnessed in the here and now, the security comes from awareness in the relationship, not the techniques. In Eric’s case, he left also because of limits with Gestalt therapy. He would have preferred to continue the exercise with Vikram but having a planned exercise does not allow for flexibility in the present.
Another limitation was illustrated with Marianne. Vikram wanted to close the session because it was technically over, but Marianne was not yet in a safe place. Being in the here and now makes it difficult for a therapist to plan for incidences like this. This left Marianne and Vikram in a vulnerable state. It was through the strengths of dialogue, with I-Thou in the here and now, that fostered growth.
This book not only supports the effectiveness of Gestalt therapy and its techniques, but it also demonstrates how Gestalt therapy can stand on its own as a therapeutic framework. In general, there is a lack of research and evidence that supports Gestalt therapy and its techniques (Wagner-Moore, 2004; Yontef & Jacobs, 2019, pp. 338-340), which distorts its true potential. This also leads to misunderstandings of its concepts.
The term diversity refers to the unlikeness, differences, and variety between others (Gladding, 2018). This includes factors like age, ability/disability, culture, gender, social class, work experience, education, and personality. It is also important for a therapist to understand that although a client is unique, there can be similarities between other experiences. This concept is best understood through the tripartite framework. This framework states that identity constructs are not alike, somewhat alike, and like all other individuals (Frew, 2016). These limitations to diversity are also applicable to most fields in psychotherapy that were also bred from individualistic notions.
Although some arguments made against the individualistic nature are true, the adaptability of the therapist-client relationship in the here and now allows for growth in any direction regardless of one’s diverse background and culture. This was proven through the multiple clients who had diverse individualistic backgrounds. Moreover, dialogue creates a safe space to explore differences and come to understandings of one another.
Gestalt therapy does have notions aligned with individualist notions, but it also aligns with collectivist origins. The concepts of awareness, exploring change in the here and now, and perceiving figures in relation to other people, things, thoughts, feelings, and objects align with Zen and Buddhist principles. These shared concepts are with collectivist communities. Furthermore, dreamwork has been found to be receptive to indigenous communities (who align with collectivist frameworks) because it shares the concept of healing through relations including with dreams (Elliot, 2020).
Gestalt therapy has not had much empirical evidence to support its concepts and techniques as its own branch in psychotherapy. The most supported techniques are associated with chair work. Vikram has provided multiple examples of how this form of therapy benefits client’s and the therapists. He sold this book with the best asset in Gestalt therapy on the front cover (an empty chair) and in the title The Empty Chair.
Vikram’s honesty, authenticity, and humbleness of his challenges, mistakes, and successes models what it is like to not only be a Gestalt therapist, but a general therapist. He demonstrates how to be creative in collaboration with clients in discovering answers with the I-Thou in the here and now approach. By allowing the clients to have a voice through their stories, it showed their true expressions of skepticism, appreciation, and gratitude for Vikram and the unique methods in Gestalt therapy.
Elliott, N. (2020). Catching Dreams: Applying Gestalt Dream Work to Canadian Aboriginal Peoples. First Peoples Child & Family Review, 7(2), 34–42. https://doi.org/10.7202/1068839ar
Frew, J. (2016). Gestalt therapy: Creatively adjusting in an increasingly diverse world. Gestalt Review, 20(2), 106-128. Retrieved from http://search.ebscohost.com/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=ip,sso&db=a9h&AN=120299089&custid=s7439054
Gladding, S. T. (2018). The Counseling Dictionary: Vol. Fourth edition. American Counseling Association. https://search-ebscohost-com.libraryservices.yorkvilleu.ca/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=url,cookie,ip,uid&db=nlebk&AN=1561316&ebv=EB&ppid=pp_C1
Kolmannskog, V. (2018). The empty chair tales from gestalt therapy. Medlar Publishing Solutions.
Spagnuolo Lobb, M. (2020). Dialogues on psychotherapy at the time of coronavirus: An introduction. The Humanistic Psychologist, 48(4), 340–346. https://doi.org/10.1037/hum0000210
Wagner-Moore, L. E. (2004). Gestalt therapy: Past, present, theory, and research. Psychotherapy: Theory, Research, Practice, Training, 41(2), 180-189. Retrieved from https://search-ebscohost-com.libraryservices.yorkvilleu.ca/login.aspx?direct=true&AuthType=url,cookie,ip,uid&db=pdh&AN=2004-15932-011
Yontef, G., & Jacobs, L. (2019). Gestalt therapy. In D. Wedding & R. J. Corsini (Eds.), Current psychotherapies (11th ed.) pp. 309-348. Boston, MA: Cengage.
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